The SuperTransmigration of a Lackadaisical Carrot

The deepest of aching ripped through his eternal core before he was transformed into a carrot. What might have been an epoch of spiritual awakening was instead an auto-catalytic, zero-g, negative free-fall mind-revolution, an implosion of his vapid consciousness. He failed to think on His holy names before he translated across the void of existence. Thus, he was condemned into a vegetative state on rebirth. If only he was comatose! Here he was: the byproduct of a wandering psychosis, awakened into his new form just as a pensive geriatric crunches into his orange fleshy frame with her peroxide-bleached dentures. His succulent flavor provides impetus for a didactic explanation of reincarnation to her great-grandson, Henry, she so affectionately dubbed ‘Chubbs.’ 

Not too far into the distant future of the past, a meditating Hindu sage sits agitatedly in lotus position saturated with iconoclastic thoughts of his creator. A limp carrot suddenly invades his nuclear brain-works at the event-horizon of nirvana and he is ejaculated out of the black-hole of superconsciousness. Alas! He is witness to the transmigration of one lost soul caught in the raging sea of Maya. He mutters secret incantations to Krishna and prays that the carrot will find salvation in the belly of a fellow devotee. His prayers are heard and answered in the form of a wild cocatoo that suddenly soars through his open window and lands on his nest of hair. The blessed bird facilitates in the immaculate conception of a ‘baby ‘too’ the sagacious Hindu names, ‘Yanitha,’ meaning ‘that without the taint of darkness.’

On the other side of the universe, Krynthx-Z28, devours another minor planet as she rapidly approaches the Astral Sea of Blinding Light. Her twenty-six, arkanoid, helium-cooled computational devices, ie. Plaxzor brains, ruminate over imaginary numbers when a disturbing anomaly perturbs her mentations. A saffron-colored, crested, flying organism manifests in his network of ‘neurons.’ It carries a bulging, conical, orange ‘thing’ with tufts of green appendages at one end. The fluttering creature cackles ‘Yanitha, Yanitha!’ and then disappears to beyond the range of her internal optics. In the natural course of events, Krynthx-Z28, slowly becomes undone as she experiences radioactive decay. Her years have been numbered by her terminating half-life. Fortunately, her Plaxzors are focused on Yahwee – Jehova – Christ, so she inevitably will return to her maker following a brief stint as a ruddy young chap dubbed ‘Chubbs.’